{"id":126,"date":"2025-02-13T11:47:15","date_gmt":"2025-02-13T11:47:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/readmore.cx\/?p=126"},"modified":"2025-02-13T11:47:15","modified_gmt":"2025-02-13T11:47:15","slug":"126","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/readmore.cx\/?p=126","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"

Sources (aka, some intern who overheard Goodell yelling at a potted plant) say that Torbert\u2019s fine is so astronomical, it could probably fund a small nation\u2019s entire referee training program for the next century. We\u2019re talking a sum so large, it\u2019s rumored Goodell had to personally raid the NFL\u2019s emergency stash of deflated footballs to cover the check.<\/p>\n

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The exact amount remains undisclosed, but experts (aka, that one guy on Twitter who claims to be an \u201cNFL insider\u201d) speculate it\u2019s enough to buy, at minimum, a fleet of those little motorized carts referees use to get around the field. Or maybe a lifetime supply of those tiny little flags they seem to throw at random.<\/p>\n

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\u201cWe take the integrity of the game very seriously,\u201d Goodell reportedly mumbled while polishing his Super Bowl ring (just kidding\u2026 probably). \u201cAnd while we appreciate Mr. Torbert\u2019s\u2026\u00a0unique<\/em>\u00a0interpretation of the rulebook, we felt that a significant financial penalty was in order. Perhaps this will encourage him to consult, you know,\u00a0the actual rulebook<\/em>\u00a0before officiating another game.\u201d<\/p>\n

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Torbert, meanwhile, has reportedly gone into hiding. Rumors abound that he\u2019s taken a vow of silence, joined a monastery, or possibly just moved to a remote island with no access to ESPN. His agent (who is probably also hiding) could not be reached for comment.<\/p>\n

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The fine, while hefty, probably won\u2019t bring back those missed calls. But it does send a message: Mess with the Super Bowl, and you mess with the NFL\u2019s bottom line. And\u00a0that<\/em>, my friends, is a penalty even a high-powered agent can\u2019t negotiate. Now, if you\u2019ll excuse me, I\u2019m going to go check my couch cushions. Maybe I can find enough change to pay for a\u00a0single<\/em>\u00a0replay review.<\/p>\n

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Sources (aka, some intern who overheard Goodell yelling at a potted plant) say that Torbert\u2019s fine is so astronomical, it could probably fund a small nation\u2019s entire referee training program for the next century. We\u2019re talking a sum so large, it\u2019s rumored Goodell had to personally raid the NFL\u2019s emergency stash of deflated footballs to…<\/p>\n

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