\u201cShe\u2019s always been dramatic,\u201d I heard my mother tell a nurse. \u201cEver since she was little, every little ache and pain became a production. Are you sure this isn\u2019t just anxiety?\u201d<\/p>\n
I wanted to laugh, but laughing required breathing, and breathing had become a luxury I couldn\u2019t afford.\u00a0Dramatic.<\/span>\u00a0The woman who once called 911 because she thought a spider bite might be life-threatening was calling me dramatic while I was literally fighting for my life.<\/span><\/p>\n The worst part wasn\u2019t their obvious annoyance at having their day disrupted. It wasn\u2019t even their transparent concern about money over my well-being. The worst part was their complete inability to see me as a person worth saving. I was a burden, an expense, an inconvenience that had disrupted their carefully planned Sunday brunch.<\/p>\n When my heart stopped for the first time around hour twelve, they barely looked up from their phones. The crash team rushed in. Dr. Cross shouted orders. Nurses moved with practiced efficiency. And my family sat there like they were waiting for a delayed flight.<\/p>\n When my heart started again, when the room filled with the beautiful sound of steady beeping, my mother\u2019s first words were, \u201cHow much extra is the crash cart going to cost?\u201d<\/p>\n
\nChapter 2: The Third Cardiac Event<\/span><\/h2>\n
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