{"id":636,"date":"2025-03-06T20:20:20","date_gmt":"2025-03-06T20:20:20","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/readmore.cx\/?p=636"},"modified":"2025-03-06T20:20:20","modified_gmt":"2025-03-06T20:20:20","slug":"636","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/readmore.cx\/?p=636","title":{"rendered":""},"content":{"rendered":"
\n

Eight years. Approximately 2,922 days. Around 70,128 hours. Every single second, my heart kept harping on just one name \u2014 MIKE, my husband. I thought he loved me with the same intensity.\u00a0Oh, how wrong I was!\u00a0<\/i>I\u2019m Michelle, a faithful wife who loved her husband like crazy, until that fateful evening when my world turned upside down and inside out\u2026\ud83d\udc94<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n
\n
\"Portrait<\/picture><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Portrait of a sad young woman | Source: Midjourney<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n

It was a Tuesday evening when my life decided to go off the rails. I walked into our living room, tired from a long day at work, only to find a heavily pregnant woman sitting on our couch, eating chips.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

At first, I thought maybe I\u2019d accidentally wandered into the wrong house.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

But no, there was our ugly floral wallpaper that Mike insisted on keeping, and there was Mike, looking like he\u2019d just swallowed a porcupine.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n
\n
\n
\"A<\/picture><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

A pregnant woman sitting on the couch | Source: Midjourney<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n

\u201cHey, Michelle,\u201d he said, his voice as casual as if he was asking me to pass the salt. \u201cWe need to talk.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

I stood there, frozen, my brain trying to compute the scene before me. The pregnant woman smiled awkwardly, her hand on her belly, looking like she was auditioning for a soap opera.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

\u201cThis is Jessica,\u201d Mike continued, gesturing to the human incubator on our couch. \u201cShe\u2019s pregnant. With my child. It\u2026 it just happened. And we\u2019ve decided to be together.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n
\n
\"A<\/picture><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

A woman gaping in shock | Source: Midjourney<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n

I waited for the punchline.\u00a0Surely, this was some elaborate prank for a new reality TV show. Maybe I\u2019d win a car if I didn\u2019t freak out?<\/i><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

But Mike\u2019s face remained serious, and Jessica kept smiling that infuriating smile.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

\u201cMike,\u201d I said slowly, \u201cwhat do you mean by \u2018it just happened\u2019? Did you trip and fall into her\u2014?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Mike had the audacity to look offended. \u201cEnough, Michelle! This is serious. I think it\u2019s best if you move out. You can go stay with your mom. Jess and I\u2019ll take over the house.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n
\n
\"A<\/picture><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

A serious-looking man sitting on the couch | Source: Midjourney<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n

I blinked. Once. Twice. Three times. Nope, still not a dream.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n

I was half-expecting Ashton Kutcher to jump out and tell me I\u2019d been Punk\u2019d. But alas, no Ashton. Just my cheating husband and his very pregnant sidekick.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

\u201cAlright,\u201d I calmly said. \u201cI\u2019ll pack my things and leave.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Mike looked relieved, probably thinking he\u2019d gotten off easy. Jessica\u2019s smile grew wider, like she\u2019d just won the lottery. Little did they know, the lottery was about to hit them back, and hit them hard.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n
\n
\"A<\/picture><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

A heartbroken woman at the doorway | Source: Midjourney<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n

I went upstairs, packed a suitcase with some essentials, and left without another word.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

As I drove to my mom\u2019s house, the shock wore off, and rage took its place. But this wasn\u2019t just any rage. This was the kind of rage that makes you want to do something spectacularly stupid and incredibly satisfying.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n

The next day, I set my plan in motion.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

First stop: the bank. I marched in there like a woman on a mission, which I was. I froze our joint account faster than you can say \u201ccheating jerk.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

The look on the bank manager\u2019s face when I explained why was priceless. I\u2019m pretty sure he was mentally taking notes for his next novel.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n
\n
\"A<\/picture><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

A woman outside a bank | Source: Midjourney<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Next, I visited a locksmith.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

I remembered overhearing Mike tell Jessica they\u2019d be gone for three days, giving me plenty of time to execute my master plan. It was like the universe was conspiring in my favor, and who was I to argue with destiny?<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n

My next stop: my house. The same cozy house Mike and I once lived together, planning a future that was now a total trainwreck.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

The puzzled locksmith probably thought I was crazy, cackling as I had him change all the locks on the house. I may have gone a bit overboard and asked for the most complicated, high-tech locks available. Hey, if I was going to do this, I was going to do it right. And big.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n
\n
\"A<\/picture><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

A locksmith fixing a door lock | Source: Midjourney<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n

Then came the movers.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

I gave them the spare keys and scheduled them to pack up everything I owned, which was basically everything in the house. I even took the toilet paper. Let\u2019s see how Mike and Jessica enjoy using leaves!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n

But the piece de resistance? Oh, that was yet to come. I had a brilliant idea that would make this revenge not just sweet, but long-lasting.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n
\n
\"Toilet<\/picture><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

Toilet paper rolls in a basket | Source: Midjourney<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n

I sent out party invitations. Lots of them. To Mike\u2019s family, our friends, his coworkers, even that nosy neighbor who always complained about our late dog.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

The invitation read:\u00a0\u201cCome celebrate Mike\u2019s new life! Surprise party at our house, tomorrow at 7 p.m.!\u201d<\/i><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n
\n
\"A<\/picture><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

A party invitation | Source: Midjourney<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n

Then, I commissioned a billboard. Yes, a billboard. A huge one. It was delivered and set up on our front lawn, impossible to miss.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

In giant, bold letters, it proclaimed:\u00a0\u201cCongratulations on Dumping Me for Your Pregnant Mistress, Mike! Hope the Baby Doesn\u2019t Inherit Your Infidelity!\u201d<\/strong><\/i><\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

I stepped back to admire my handiwork, feeling like a mischievous fairy godmother who\u2019d just granted the world\u2019s most ironic wish. With a satisfied smirk and a dramatic hair flip, I sashayed away from the scene, eagerly anticipating the chaos that was about to unfold.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n
\n
\"A<\/picture><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

A billboard outside a house | Source: Midjourney<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n

The next evening, right on cue, my phone rang. It was Mike, and he sounded like he was having an aneurysm.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n

\u201cMichelle!\u201d he screeched, his voice hitting octaves I didn\u2019t know he could reach. \u201cWhat the hell is going on? Why are there people at our house? And what\u2019s with this insane billboard?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

\u201cOh, that?\u201d I said, trying to sound innocent. \u201cJust a little housewarming party for you and Jessica. Don\u2019t you like the decorations?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

\u201cDecorations? It\u2019s a freaking circus out here! And why can\u2019t I get into the house?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n
\n
\"A<\/picture><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

A startled man talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n

I couldn\u2019t help but giggle. \u201cWell, honey, you told me to move out, remember? You never said anything about you staying there. I just remembered that the house is solely under my name. So, I changed the locks. Oopsie!\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n

There was a long silence on the other end. I could almost hear the gears in his tiny brain trying to process what was happening.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

\u201cWhere are we supposed to go?\u201d he finally sputtered.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

\u201cGee, I don\u2019t know, Mike. Maybe Jessica\u2019s mom would love to have you? I hear pregnancy hormones and in-laws mix really well.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n
\n
\"A<\/picture><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

A smiling woman talking on the phone | Source: Midjourney<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n

I hung up, feeling lighter than I had in years. But wait, there was more!<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

In the days that followed, I had the utilities cut off, canceled the cable, and made sure all our joint assets were transferred into my name. I listed the house for sale, making sure to mention in the listing that it came with a \u201cbonus front lawn art installation.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
\n

I had Mike served with divorce papers at work. I specifically requested the mailman to dress up as a pregnant woman. Just for funsies.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

But the universe wasn\u2019t done with Mike yet. Oh no, it had saved the best for last.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n
\n
\n
\"A<\/picture><\/div>\n<\/div>\n

A man gaping in shock as he holds some papers | Source: Midjourney<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

\n

A week later, I got a call from Jessica. Yes, that Jessica. She was crying so hard I could barely understand her.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

\u201cMichelle,\u201d she sobbed, \u201cI\u2019m so sorry. I didn\u2019t know\u2026 I mean, Mike told me you two were separated. And now\u2026 now he\u2019s broke and homeless, and I\u2019m pregnant, and I don\u2019t know what to do!\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

I almost felt bad for her. Almost.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

\n

\u201cWell, Jessica,\u201d I said, trying to keep the glee out of my voice, \u201cI hear the circus is always looking for new acts. Maybe you two could start a juggling duo? You juggle the baby, he juggles his lies?\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/path><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Eight years. Approximately 2,922 days. Around 70,128 hours. Every single second, my heart kept harping on just one name \u2014 MIKE, my husband. I thought he loved me with the same intensity.\u00a0Oh, how wrong I was!\u00a0I\u2019m Michelle, a faithful wife who loved her husband like crazy, until that fateful evening when my world turned upside…<\/p>\n

Read More “”<\/span> »<\/a><\/p>\n

<\/div>\n

<\/path><\/svg><\/i> \"Loading\"<\/p>\n

<\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-636","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-uncategorized"],"a3_pvc":{"activated":true,"total_views":17,"today_views":0},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/readmore.cx\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/636","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/readmore.cx\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/readmore.cx\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readmore.cx\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readmore.cx\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=636"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/readmore.cx\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/636\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":639,"href":"https:\/\/readmore.cx\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/636\/revisions\/639"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/readmore.cx\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=636"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readmore.cx\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=636"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/readmore.cx\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=636"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}