Matthew has left. Matthew has left me alone.

Several times I bang my head against the wall. Then I slide to the floor and curl up my legs. I howl in tears, rocking back and forth. I dream that the apartment door will slam and Matthew will walk in. But I only hear silence. It seems to mock me, to taunt me.

Somehow, I find the strength to crawl to the computer. I log into my account on the government services site and see a notification that Matthew Alexander Poletov has filed for divorce from me. I must confirm.

I tremble like an aspen leaf. I am seized by pain, panic, fear, horror. A hot droplet of sweat slides down my spine. My temples pulse: ‘Matthew has left forever, Matthew has left forever.’ I cover my mouth with my palm to suppress the scream that’s bursting forth.

This is the end. This is the real end.

With trembling fingers, I confirm the divorce. And at that moment, it’s as if a switch flips in my mind. From love to hatred.