There are days I hold my breath while swiping my card at the grocery store.

Still, I try my best to keep life soft for the kids. I make sure their birthdays have balloons. I buy marshmallows for hot chocolate. On Sundays, even when I’m drained, I take them to the park. I want them to remain children, not little adults burdened with money worries and grief. That’s my load to carry.

One Sunday afternoon, after days of gray skies, the sun finally came out. The whole world seemed lighter. We took the long route through Riverside Park because Adam wanted to hunt for chestnuts. For him, it had become a serious treasure hunt.

He ran ahead, his red hoodie flashing between the trees, shouting, “I found one, Mom! No, wait—two!”

Alice skipped after him, her braids bouncing. “That one’s mine, Adam! You said I get the next shiny one!”