People show up differently in crisis, Michael told me one night as I cried beside his hospital bed. Some cannot handle seeing someone they care about suffer. Even dying, he was making excuses for the people who should have been supporting us. His own friends visited regularly. His parents moved temporarily to our city to help, taking shifts with me at the hospital. The contrast between his people and mine could not have been more stark.

As Michael’s condition worsened, another announcement came. Rachel was officially engaged to Bradford, a corporate lawyer from a wealthy family. My mother called, excitement bubbling through the phone. We are planning the most beautiful engagement party. The country club has agreed to host it, and we have booked the best caterer in the city. Rachel wants you to be a bridesmaid, of course. When is the party? I asked, already dreading the answer. 3 weeks from Saturday. We wanted to do it quickly while the weather is still nice for photos. My heart sank. Mom, Michael is not doing well. The doctors say he might only have weeks left. I cannot leave him. A heavy silence followed. Nah, your sister is only going to get engaged once in her life. Surely Michael would understand if you took one evening to celebrate with family. He is dying. Mom, my husband is dying. Well, we will miss you at the party. Then I will tell Rachel you send your congratulations.