And then came the laughter.

My son, Michael, sitting right there on the couch with his phone in his hand, looked up, smirked, and actually laughed. “He’s just playing with you, Mom,” he said, as if this were some kind of family comedy sketch instead of a moment of pure humiliation.

And Heather, my daughter-in-law, the self-proclaimed queen of modern parenting, clapped her hands together. “If you’re so tough, hit him back,” she sneered. “But you won’t dare.” She actually encouraged it.