At 54, I moved in with a man I had known for only a few months so as not to be a burden to my daughter. But very soon something so terrible happened to me that I deeply regretted it 😢😲
I am 54 years old. I always thought that at this age you already know how to understand people. It turned out that this is not the case.
I lived with my daughter and son-in-law. They are good, caring people, but I constantly felt like I was in the way. Young people need their own space. They never said that I was a burden, but I felt it. I wanted to leave gracefully, without waiting for the moment when it would be said out loud.
A colleague introduced him to me. She said, “I have a brother. You would suit each other.” I laughed. What kind of dating is there after fifty? But we still met. A walk, conversations, then coffee. Nothing special — and that was exactly what I liked. Calm, without loud words, without promises. It seemed to me that life next to him would be simple and quiet.
We started seeing each other. In a mature way. He cooked dinner, met me after work, we watched TV, took evening walks. Without passion, without drama. It seemed to me that these are normal relationships at our age.
After a few months, he suggested that I move in with him. I thought for a long time, but decided that it would be right. For my daughter — freedom, for me — my own life. I packed my things, smiled, said that everything was fine. Although inside I felt anxious.
At first, everything really was calm. We set up the household together, went shopping, shared responsibilities. He was attentive. I relaxed.
Then the little things began. I turned on music — he frowned. I bought different bread — he sighed. I put the cup in the wrong place — he made a remark. I didn’t argue. I thought: everyone has their habits.
Then questions appeared. Where I had been. Why I was late. Who I talked to. Why I didn’t answer right away. At first, I thought it was jealousy, and that is rare at my age.
But soon it became even worse 😢😲 I told the continuation of my story in the first comment 👇👇
Then I began to catch myself justifying myself in advance, before I had even said anything.
He started criticizing the food. Either too salty, or not salty enough, or “it used to be better.” Once I turned on old songs that I love. He came into the kitchen and said, “Turn that off. Normal people don’t listen to that.” I turned it off. And for some reason, it suddenly felt very empty inside.
The first real outburst happened suddenly. He was irritated, I asked a normal question — and he started shouting. Then he threw the remote control at the wall. It broke. I stood there watching, as if it wasn’t happening to me. Later he apologized, talked about being tired and about work. I believed him. I really wanted to believe him.
But after that, I started to feel afraid. Not of being hit — there were no hits. I was afraid of his mood. I walked more quietly, spoke less, tried to be “convenient.” The more I tried, the angrier he became. The quieter I became, the louder he shouted.
The last straw was a broken outlet. I simply said that we needed to call an electrician. He blamed me, started fixing it himself, got angry, threw the screwdriver, shouted at me, at the outlet, at the whole world.
And at that moment I realized: from here on, it would only get worse. He would not change. And I had almost disappeared.
I left quietly. While he was away, I gathered my documents, clothes, and the bare essentials. I left everything else behind. I put the keys on the table, wrote a short note, and closed the door.
I called my daughter. She said only one thing: “Mom, come.” No questions.
He called, wrote, promised to change. I did not respond even once.
Now I live peacefully again. I am close to my daughter. I work, meet friends, breathe freely. And now I know for sure: I was not in the way of anyone. I simply chose the wrong person — and endured for far too long so as not to be “unnecessary.”
