I stood in the receiving line, my legs feeling like they were filled with lead, accepting condolences from people who wouldn’t look me in the eye. I could feel their judgment radiating off them like heat. How does a mother let two babies die? What did she do wrong?

My mother-in-law, Diane Morrison, stood a few feet away, the center of gravity in the room. She wore mourning black from head to toe, complete with a dramatic lace veil that obscured her face but not her theatrical sobbing. She dabbed at dry eyes with a monogrammed handkerchief while relatives patted her shoulders, murmuring sympathies about the “burden” she now carried.