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At Father’s Day brunch, Dad opened his gifts. My brother gave him a golf club membership. My sister gave him a luxury watch. I handed him my envelope. He glanced inside and said, “A restaurant gift card. How… practical.” He set it aside without another word. A waiter then approached nervously and said, “Sir, that restaurant…”

Posted on December 28, 2025 By Admin No Comments on At Father’s Day brunch, Dad opened his gifts. My brother gave him a golf club membership. My sister gave him a luxury watch. I handed him my envelope. He glanced inside and said, “A restaurant gift card. How… practical.” He set it aside without another word. A waiter then approached nervously and said, “Sir, that restaurant…”

There are exactly three people in my family who matter to this story, and together, they form a perfect, isosceles triangle of assumptions about my existence.

At the apex sits my father, Richard DeWitt, a sixty-eight-year-old retired insurance executive who measures a person’s worth by the exclusivity of their country club membership and the troy weight of the gold watch on their wrist. At the second point is my brother, Gregory, forty-one, a hedge fund manager who made his first million by thirty and his first felony-adjacent enemy by thirty-one. And finally, my sister Nicole, thirty-seven, a corporate attorney married to a man whose last name opens restaurant doors I could requisition with a phone call, but never do.

Each point of this triangle reinforces the others, creating a geometry of condescension so structurally sound it is almost architectural.

I am Shaina DeWitt. To them, I am the middle child who “works in paperwork.” To the fifty-two thousand souls currently residing on my property, I am Colonel DeWitt, Installation Commander of Fort Bragg, one of the largest military bases on the face of the planet.

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